vocab & inner voice
When I write my posts the question that frequents my mind is, "Why am I choosing these words?"
When I write, I tend to branch out with my vocabulary in ways I normally cannot IRL because of the knowledge of those around me (read: I work in an elementary school). The words I use here are the ones that come to mind as I write, so I'm not raiding a thesaurus every 6 words to come off as eloquent. But when I read back my writing, I feel like the voice conveyed is that of an older man wearing an ascot and blowing circular smoke from a pipe, donning a pair of circular wire frames, twirling his beard hairs and ruminating on his "complex thoughts".
And that is NOT ME! I don't think that's my inner voice either. If anything, my inner voice is me with the smart*ss meter cranked up by 8-10 notches. yet this is the image I see when I read my posts back.
To my knowledge, I am true to myself when I write. But maybe this is just one of the many hats we put on throughout the day that make up our whole selves. Maybe writing-me and inner-voice-me tend to become a man sitting in a loveseat under a standing lamp in a dim room. Maybe that is where I go to unwind and analyze the swirling thoughts in my subconscious and expel them to the world.